A good conversation can set a lot in motion. But your life continues on the days when you are not sitting opposite me. That is where you want what you learn to be useful. In your work, in how you treat yourself and in the plans you feel able to begin again.
Karin’s message came a year after our final session
Karin wrote that her life had not completely turned around. But she was a different person from a year earlier. That was exactly what interested me about her message: she described what had actually changed without making it a perfect story.
She had gained her wine qualification. She was studying for further exams in spirits and beer and wanted to start her own business. In her message, that business was still an ambition. She had already begun the training. There was something she was working towards and looking forward to.
“Thanks to you, I have a goal in my life again.” — Karin (translated from Dutch)
She also wrote that she still had to give herself a kick up the backside now and then. That sat alongside her gratitude and enjoyment. A year later, she could describe progress without claiming that everything came easily.
You do not have to turn progress into a test
I have experienced turning even recovery into something I had to perform well at. I wanted rest and began judging whether I was resting well enough. I wanted to grow and measured myself against that growth. In De Manke Wolf, I describe how easily I put myself under pressure again that way.
Then one difficult day can blot out all the others. You mainly see what you still cannot do. Yet perhaps you have already had a conversation you used to avoid. Or started a plan that had been on hold for months. It helps to look closely at what you actually do and can do now, even if not everything has changed.
That also means being honest about what is still difficult. You do not have to play the successful participant with me. If something remains unclear or you get stuck at home, I want to know. Then we can explore what still needs explanation, practice or support.
Getting on with your own life
That is why we connect our work to situations in your life and to what you want to be able to do again. Its value also lies in the next working day, the evening at home and the decision you feel able to make for yourself again. We agree together what support fits and what comes next.
Karin’s story shows why I take that future seriously from the start. When you have been stuck for a long time, you may mainly wish for your symptoms to ease. I understand that. Alongside that, there can also be something you want to get up for again.
Perhaps you do not yet know what that is for you. There does not have to be a grand plan for the future today. We start with you. A year later, Karin’s own business was not yet a reality, but her life was no longer on hold waiting for it. She was doing something she wanted to do.